Thank you for your words of encouragement. I'm feeling a little down today after a stressful weekend.
One of the big issues in our relationship is my wife going out to clubs and dancing with other men. Well, she went out with her friends on Friday night and I knew that she was going to a club that the OM goes to. I was very anxious all night and stressed out but I kept things to myself on Saturday morning. She must have noticed this because on Sat afternoon she blurted out "Yes, I saw XXXXX at the bar and I did dance with him once (yeah, right) and only talked with him for a few minutes. That was it. I am bound to run into him and I can't just avoid him." I told her that, yes, I was thinking a lot about her seeing him and I knew she would probably run into him. I stated that I think my feelings were only natural given the situation and she agreed but insisted that it was nothing. Then I kind of backslid because I said that what really bothers me is that she still doesn't wear her rings and I have a problem with her going out, dancing and meeting men and not wearing her wedding rings. It really makes it hard for me to trust her. When I asked her this, she just said she doesn't know why, she's just not ready to do that yet. I know that things are better for us than they have been in a very long time. But I can't shake the feeling that this is just a half-hearted attempt on her part to reconcile. I really want to trust her but it's sooooo hard when she behaves this way. Am I being too suspicious? She tells me that I am too needy and need reassurance too much. I really don't agree with her about this. But I do want more than just a roommate situation in our marriage. I want to be able to say what is bothering me without having it turned against me. Am I expecting too much? I really feel that she should avoid any place that she knows this OM might be at, but she seems to think that I am being paranoid.
I made a point of severing all contact with a couple of women who I dated when we were seperated because I know we could never repair OR if I did. I just wish she'd do the same.
Any suggestions?? I've been back home since Dec 18 and we have made progress but is this as good as it is going to get? I want some assurances from her that we are together for good. I want to talk about our future together and have more companionship. I don't know right now if we're going to be together or if we'll get divorced. I hate not knowing where our relationship is going.
