This time I have found a wonderful councelor. She works with me by myself and then once a week with my H and I for marriage councelling. She has told us that there is hope for our marriage and further she says it will be better than ever before. She basically said the affair was a side effect of a poor marriage and we need to find out what the porblems were so we can fix them. She feels my husbands needs weren't being met (sex mainly) so he went looking for it with someone else. She also says it is unlikely he ever loved the OW but is afraid to admitt he was in it for sex because it would make him look like a "bad boy" and he is so eager to please. My problem is mainly to do with my co- dependent personality. I agree with her totally. I have done too much for everyone for too long. My advise ... shop around for a good councelor. My husband and I saw one two years ago and he said nothing was wrong with the marriage. He was oh so wrong!!
