you don't know how many people have told me that is what my husband is doing. His comfort. I think I really believe this, he never really grieved, I mean he did, but not really. I just thought like people say everyone grieves differently. I cried he hugged me and held me, yes he cried too, but not as long as I did. I feel selfish that I did not look into him more, I was and am still hurting and missing my son. I know he does too. I can still feel his love for me, and like I wrote for some reason he is holding it back. Alot of people have told me that its a high percentage rate of marriages ending after a loss of a child. I never thought mine would, simply because well I thought we were close and were in love with each other and been through alot during our 26 years of marriage. It was alway him & me, always. I am learning to detach and let go, but its just so dam hard to do. I just want to hug him and be close to him and I know I can't right now. It is so hard to stay stronge but I will learn to keep it up. I am not going to give up faith and hope just yet. We have to much to just throw it away. We worked very hard for everything we have conquered for what? This OW, his A, no I am not going to give up yet. I love him too much to want to. You know, he has asked me why didn't I throw him out, and you know what I told him? I told him, if you love someone, you just don't throw them out. He just looked at me and put his head down. I felt like the stronge one then.
