I guess this is all so confusing to me, I really can not wait to get that book. Sounds like it has a lot to offer. But I don't understand why you say I have to become a better person? Any why I need to set boundaries? to me its like what you said "counterproductive", wouldn't this just chase him away even more? And as far as "it not being about me" boy, you really hit the nail on the head, because when he first told me about all this, he told me "its not about me, I didn't do anything, its something he wants, something different in his life". He has told me that he has lived half his life already (we are both 45) and that he wanted to do something different. He said that when we lost our son, this really opened his eyes. But other times when he talks about all this with me, the story changes. Now its about being in love with the OW, and how his heart is there and not here. It just hurts! We had a pretty nice night last night, we actually hung out together and had a conversation going on, and it wasn't about our bad situation which to me was so nice. I actually had a good night sleep for once. I did hug him, and he actually hugged me back, not that it was like it use to be, but it felt good. No we did not sleep together, but it was still nice to hug him goodnight. You know, I can still feel his love, but I believe he keeps it hinden for some reason. Well next week he has to go out of town (to that dreadful area), I am not looking forward to it, but I know I have to deal with it. I do appreciate all the advice you have been given me, and trust me I am absorbing it and going to put it to use. Its also nice to talk with a man about it, gives me the other side..Thank you
