It isn't hopeless. My H wanted to marry OW. Spend the rest of his life with her. Wanted a D yesterday. This coming from a man that swore for years that our sex life was phenomenal... told his friends that he would really miss it when he told them we were separating. He told me that he never really loved me, blah, blah, blah...
My point being, you know the truth, and at some point "rea;" will set into their relationship and he will know the truth as well.
My H now says that he felt addicted to her, and when that wore off she wasn't anyone he would want to raise our kids around, much less spend the rest of his life with. Then he realized our problems weren't insurmountable and that he wanted to grow old with me.
Don't buy it. He is telling himself what he needs in order to justify his actions. He will likely act out angrily toward you, trying to make you the bad guy. Just remember that he is temporarily insane.
Detach, GAL, and act as if until you actually find your way out of the pitty pit of despair.
