First, sorry for the loss of your son. I know that can be devatating on a family.
As for the state of your marriage, that sucks too. Your case is pretty textbook if that makes you feel any better. You are NOT alone, we have all been through something similar.
Have you read DB or DR? If not, do so immediatly.
In the meantime, make sure all begging and R talk stop cold. No more talking to him about this.
I will post more later but for now, you have some reading to do if you have not already.
