I haven't posted in ages. My H had an affair with a secretary after he had been away from the family for months while working in the tropics. A long comes this secretary who is separated from her H that left her for the babysitter. They start an affair on this beautiful island while I am at home comforting our daughter in grade 12 because her Dad can't make it home for her grad. Little did I know he was sleeping with OW. Then my H goes to a city far away to continue working with the same company … and you guessed it the OW just happens to live in the same city. To make a long story short after visiting us in July he informed me that he wanted a divorce. I was stunned. When I asked him if there was another woman he denied it. Three days after he flew back to his job he phoned me to say he was in love with a woman whom he met in the tropics and that he wanted to start a new life with her in the city far away. I was devastated as were our 14 and 17-year-old daughters. But with time and no real intervention from me he admitted he had made a mistake and he was coming home if I'd have him. The OW made the last attempt to keep him by trying to commit suicide. I think this scared him so much that home began to look real good. He has been home since October and has told me he will become unemployed before he goes away to work from the family for a long time. He has been loving, and content. He went to the STD clinic on his own to be checked and he has "faced the music" with our daughters. We went to a councillor once .... and he seems to be fine with everything. My H has done everything in his power to make me believe it is over and to prove his love for me. But I am consumed with jealousy and hate for the OW. I have put him through hell and he always forgives me and is understanding. I am seeing a councillor in 2 days to help me get over this. I cry so easily and I am so insecure. To make matters worse I think I am in the beginning stages of menopause so everything seems like a big deal. I don't want to drive my H away. What can I do to help me get over this most painful experience? He told me he loved her and that she loved him but that he loves me more … I can't get over the thought of him loving someone else. I don't want to lose my H but I feel like I am driving him away.
