We met for dinner last night at 8:30, for the first 1-2 hours we caught up, enjoyed a excellent meal and a wonderfull conversation. It took everything that I had to keep from mentioning us and where we were. Towards the end of our meal the talk turned to my family and hers, it got very emotional, at several points one or both of us were crying right at the table, neither one of us really cared what the other patrons thought!
It was the first time since we seperated that we had a good, productive conversation that didn't lead to arguing or fighting. (10 months).
She used to criticize me for all of the relationship books that I read (she was the WAW and I was the pursuer) She started describing the exact emotions that WAW's have, not being able to remember the good things, even thought they greatly outnumbered the bad, feeling like she had to take control from me because I had previously made most of the everyday decisions.
At midnight the restaurant closed and I asked her if she wanted to call it a night or go someplace else for a drink. She opted for another drink and we ended up leaving that place at 2:30 AM, not drunk at all, just wrapped up in conversation. We sat in front of her apartment building for another half hour after that. We both still managed to make it into the office this morning!
She was very dependant before and her new independance makes her that much more attractive to me. She even made the first basic step of communication in stating exactly how she wanted to proceed from here and stated almost word for word exactly how I feel about "us". Her words "we've both changed a great deal in the last 10 months, lets get to know each other again and see where it leads" I had said to my best friend and my Mom & Dad that I know how much I have changed, I can't even begin to imagine the type of person that she is today, (I know the core of the same beautiful person that I married is there, but we all know how this experience makes us grow and change) I don't know if the woman that she is today is someone that I would want in my life, but I'd like to find out for sure.
She then asked me not to suffocate her with phone calls and emails, her last memory of me was when I was chasing her, not wanting to give up. I told her that that had been my natural reaction before I educated myself and that for the first time since we seperated I felt as if I was finally prepared to deal with the situation in a constructive, rational way.
I ceratinly don't have my hopes up and I'm not putting the pressure of expectations on the situation.
Either way it goes, I feel much better about the woman that broke my heart. And, I'm looking forward to getting to know my best friend.
Thanks for your feedback and for listening to our story.
