Yeah, Lil’s got a pair of those secret X-ray glasses that can see into your soul! It sounds like she’s got you right. Insecurity is in the mix. I’ll even go her one better, I see signs of self pity in both of you too. There is a lot of stuff running under the surface. Can you give us more background? Why is your W so insecure that she lashes out at the mention of disloyalty to her (i.e., your “unhappiness about the R”).
The interesting thing to me is your wife plays both ends of the spectrum… I’ve not seen that before. You say she can fly off the handle with her anger, is aggressive, yet she plays the sympathy and martyr card with her crying, even at little things, a passive aggressive ploy. Usually manipulation is along one theme – anger and intimidation or martyrdom and self deprecation… They are both means to maintain control but using them together is a strange mix and really odd…
Does she shy from physical touch only with you, or just men, or everyone, including your kids? What is she depressed about? Does she have mood swings? I am wondering if there is more than just a relationship issue here or if there could be a more serious disorder involved… a little too early to tell. Can you give us more background?
