I have been having more and more thoughts of Sep. and D as I question whether I can go through the rest of my life in a R with no outward signs of affection (either physical or other) from the person whom I have, up until this point dedicated my life to.
Ok, this I can agree with. But this has nothing to do with being "in love." Affection/Sex is an important part of M because it is a loving thing to do. I think the distinction has to be made that you can be happy in your M if your W makes the EFFORT and FOLLOWS THROUGH on more affection/sex. But if you are looking for some "in love" feelings to flow to and from you both, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Again, I feel great love for my H and from my H. We are affectionate every day and have sex 1-2x a week. But those "in love" chemicals are not flowing. The butterflies aren't there. I'm ok with this because again, M and Love for your S is ultimately a choice that you have to make and work hard to maintain everyday. If your W is not participating in creating a loving M, you certainly have a problem. Maybe you could be very specific with her about what sort of expectations you have, loving gestures every day, sex a certain # of x a month. etc She should also be dealing with her depression. My H went through depression too and it can really F-up the SL along with everything else.
