Thanks, Jamie. Are you and your H back together? It's been so long for us, it doesn't seem like it could ever happen.
Last night was the very lowest I've been since his A ended. We talked for a half hour or so, and he told me some of the things that were wrong w/that relationship; then told me he thinks he'll never date again, just wants to be alone for the remainder of his life, etc. We both cried and hugged eachother before he left; as it was then after midnight, I wished him a happy last anniversary (which is today--our 22nd); he said don't but I said I couldn't help thinking about it in that way.
He did call this a.m., when I'd had very little sleep but at least had gone for my usual a.m. walk, which helps to clear my head. I asked if I was correctly interpreting his message last night, which was that he plans to go through w/the D and basically doesn't want anything else to do w/me. He said he doesn't know what he wants, he wants to find peace and if that means D, then that's what will happen... Hardly reassuring, but maybe you're right, I should just keep doing what I'm doing. Though I know I need to do more for me, try to find some happiness (or at least peace or stability) w/out him for now. Is it time to throw in the towel and make that my only focus???
