Well, we just carved pumpkins tonight with the kids. together. I kept having thoughts of how last year it was just me and the kids doing it.
It's been a looong road. It all started the end of April 1999 when W told me she "No longer loved me". This was then followed by her getting her own place Aug 1, 1999. By this time I figured out there was on OM. W and OM went on till about March or April 2000. W then said she would move home June 1. She didn't get moved in till July 1. In June we attended Retrouvaille but W only went to 2 follow ups and didn't dialogue much (and still hasn't).
However, W has been home now for about 3.5 months and things are getting better. Some days are rough - but we are making progress.

I just wanted to post the brief synopsis of my saga to those who may visit here and not be familiar with it. I want to give hope to those who are struggling to let them know - IT CAN WORK.
We went through a separation and W's SERIOUS attachment to an OM. I do not agree with what happened, but I have accepted that it did. Just last night, my son was coloring in a book that he and OM apparently worked on together and he remembered it and spoke of it. (He's only 5 and to him OM was "a friend"). W was sitting there and said "He has a good memory".
I know there are times that W is hurting - sometimes for the future of what we my deal with - and other times for OM. Those times are hard but we get through them together.

Tonight I came home and was greeted with a kiss on the lips and a smile.

W is still struggling..and so am I at times. But it gets better all the time. I am now more proactive and I plan things for us and the family more instead of leaving so much up to her.

What I want everyone to know is that there were many times of despair, pain, and haplessness. But for whatever reason, I continued (and still do - it's just not as painful now) and endured. I think I can say...this marriage will be saved: but there is still work to be done.
We endured a 10 month separation, followed by another 3 week one, and there was an OM involved for almost 1 year.
It now seems like that year was a blur sometimes, but at the time it seemed like an eternity. I just want anyone to know - YOU CAN ENDURE. Continue to DB.

I don't get out here much to post because I don't have my own computer. However, for Christmas we are getting one. I will be able to post more then. I know there are many out there that are just beginning this unfortunate journey and are searching for direction. I hope to some day be able to give that as others have given to me.

I just want to thank you Michelle. If it weren't for you, I (we) wouldn't be where we are now. I wouldn't have meet the others that fought - and still are - to save their marriage. I received support from so many here that I'm afraid to begin naming them for fear of leaving some out. You all know who you are and I know who you are. Thank you all. And I wouldn't have meet David. He was my leader. I followed his methods VERY closely and printed all of his posts. I now see things so differently.
I KNOW that in a few more months I will be sending you a post to add to your "Success Stories" collection. When I first came here, I remember telling you that was my goal. I am now in the final steps of seeing that goal come completion.
Thanks all of you and God Bless you all!!