Had a nice long weekend. Sunday night H sort of initiated sex. Well, in his very wishy-washy way which I just could not bring myself to go along with. Probably bad, but here is the setting: Sunday night I'm in bed getting into a book, in less than sexy pj's, face cream all over me. H walks into the bedroom and says "Should I shut the door?" It takes me a second, but this is his form of initiating for sex. We usually keep the door open to hear the kids if needed. So when he asked, I said, "Is that supposed to get me in the mood?" or something bad like that. He's all the way across the room, doesn't even attempt to come close to possibly "warm me up" to the idea and I got a little annoyed. It's not like he was turned on by me (trust me), I looked less than attractive at that moment. So we get into this discussion about I feel like he is only initiating sex because he "should" since we didn't have it at all in over two weeks (remember last weekend was the drunken incident) and all week he still did not initiate. Then Sunday, his lame attempt just annoyed me. I told him I felt like we have no passion together. That our SL is all so structured, not spontaneous at all. That I don't feel like he has any passion for me. So he says "I do have lots of sexual passion for you. I just will never show it the way you have it in your mind that I should." hmmmmm Maybe he is right. Am I expecting too much from him? He says he loves me and has sexual passion for me. Should I not believe him because I want him to be more aggressive/assertive? Why is it soooooo hard for him to just jump on the bed and tell me he wants me right then and there? He just CANNOT do that, as much as I want him to, and as much as he says he feels passion but cannot express it in that manner. Says he probably never will. I should accept him for who he is. I knew he was like this from day one. blah blah So is he right? He says he still is willing to work on improving our SL but that basically I need to lower my expectation if we are going to work this out. I'm still letting this all sink in. But that is the most honest my H has ever been with me. He said all of this in a very sincere, loving way. Not angry at all. But stated factually what he can and cannot give to this part of our M. I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad about the whole thing. Any comments are welcome.
He's all the way across the room, doesn't even attempt to come close to possibly "warm me up" to the idea and I got a little annoyed. It's not like he was turned on by me (trust me), I looked less than attractive at that moment. 
