Inevitably, irrevocably, happy SSM? No such thing.

[Brian_M]

Never. That doesn't go over well with H.
Well, that is his problem to work on then, not yours. You can be there by his side and help him work through it. Though, you cannot and should not suppress your feelings and true self. To do so would be stifling, suffocating, and ultimately destructive.

I'd probably scare him away for good. That's half-joking. I just don't think he is ready or wants to hear about my "true" feelings. When I have attempted to go there in the past, he shuts down.
Well, then he shuts down for a while, walks away, thinks about, and then works on the source of his tension. Lusty, you are not happy now, nor will you be happy in the long run, if you keep catering solely to his needs and ignore your own. He is a strong man. He will learn to deal with his own insecurity and issues. Lay it out there, let him get his nose bloodied, and give him a chance to work through it. Yes, this is a risky approach, but sitting back and following your current path is sure doom. I think you know that.

I want to feel his bare hands on me in a forceful way.
Oh, sure, most women I have met do. That is kind of catering to the alpha attraction. I have no problem with that.

No hair pulling? I don't mean ripping it out of someone's head. I just mean a slight to medium tug. I don't see what so weird about that.
Obviously other men are totally fine with this. Though, I personally see hair pulling as an aggressive act no matter what kind of spin is put on it. Consequently, I won’t do it. I am not sure what “normal” is in this regard, but I think your H’s viewpoints on this deserve respect and understanding.

Violence is doing something to someone that they do not want done to them (I think). My scenario is different.
I disagree. In this case, violence is what ever your H feels it is. You have to remember that we all have different thresholds. Consequently, it is important to be sensitive to other’s viewpoints.

I did this with OM all the time. I'm sure H is reading into my newfound sexual experimentation with him as a reflection of what I did do with OM, so maybe that is more central to the problem.
OH NO….wait.. you have not discussed OM sexual details with your H have you? How much have you told your H about that? What kind of impressions does your H have? This could be a huge issue right here.