Hi Fran Yes, it does sound like we have similar histories. The biology of settling down with a beta while still fancying the alpha is actually pretty well observed. Birds were thought to be monogomous but in fact female birds nest-build with a safe beta and then have A's on the side with the alphas. This has also been found to be the case in humans very frequently. Often with the H's unaware that all but the first-born is not theirs. It is kind of an obvious strategy genetically. You want your kids to be alphas but these aren't necessarily the most reliable guys to nest-build with Interesting points, especially about the birds. Certainly can translate to humans. About the blood type, it's fairly common for medical practices to withhold, or at least not advertise, the blood types of their patients, for that very reason you spoke of, paternity. A fairly large number of babies are born to men other than the husband. Doctors are aware of this and attempt to avoid any family chaos by "outing" thro blood tests. I know someone who just attempted to get their families blood types and the doctor flat out said, "oh that's not important." I guess if she pushed she could find out but she didn't. How many people even know their own blood type. I know mine, but only because I looked at my chart while pregnant. When you say you wish it were socially acceptable to have A's outside marriage - in some places it is. In France very much so. A marriage is seen as social convention which keeps families and property together. When the couple reach the end of the "in love" stage they are usually free to have discreet affairs. No-one worries too much about it. Dinner with the in-laws is strictly family the mistress or lover never referred to. In other social settings, like a night out with the girls (or boys) people will talk openly about their lover. It seems it is our Anglo-saxon world that is more idealistic about what marriage should mean Ah yes, ideal culture vs real culture. Very common. Ideally we say we believe in one man and one woman forever in M, but the reality is, LOTS of people do not live up to that ideal. Again, the push from biology makes it very difficult. And we construct these covert norms "it's ok as long as you either don't talk about it" or like you were saying in France, it's not even covert, but right out in the open. We tend to be much more conservative in the U.S.
