Quote: Simply because the Alpha male with the sensitive, nice guy traits is a rare bird.
Isn't it actually the lone anti-social semi-vicious Omega? wolf lurking outside the pack hoping to score that you are describing here. I think of a true Alpha male as being secure enough in his domain/pack/masculinity that he can be nurturing towards others. The Beta wolf may be sensitive and social but wants too much nurturing himself to make up for the fact that he isn't Alpha. The lone wolf can be a good f*ck but would make a cr*ppy husband. The Beta wolf can be a good friend but might not be sexual or nurturing enough to be a good husband. That is why all the b*tches want to mate and marry the Alpha.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
“But men do this too. I'm sure guys can get off on some slutty porno girl fantasy for pure sexual pleasure” I am so far behind in work too. Though, I thought I would wrap up by saying, no, my personal fantasy at least has never been for that “porno or pinup girl”. I have always fantasized about having such an intense love with that dark smoldering academic with pouty lips and intense eyes that we have slow, deep, passionate sex in doorways because the bed was just too far away. Then again, I rank Janeane Garofalo as one of the sexiest women alive. Thus, you might not want to use me as a gauge for “most men” either.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
You have a point, but you have to remember that the alpha male is unwilling to kowtow to any request that he sees as invalid or contrary to his nature of being pack leader, i.e. anything that would show true weakness. So one of the things that can cause conflict is the necessity that many women state of wanting their man to be "vulnerable." The alpha will attempt to mask that very strongly.
Of course, I'm not a social psychologist so I could be blowing it out of my butt.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Chrome, if you don’t mind my asking, what was your personality like prior to meeting your now W? Also, how successful was that prior personality with women?
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
For the most part very quiet, shy, reserved. The "nice guy" type. Except when I got really drunk and went clubbing. I was very unsuccessful with women. My W was the first woman I really dated, was the first I kissed, ML to, etc. I was 21 when we met.
A large part of my early demeanor (which frankly persisted until last year and still partially remains) was due to a highly controlling and abusive father. He was extremely conservative religious. He didn't let me go to prom because of the possibility of drinking, intentionally rented a house a one hour drive from all my friends and schoolmates to prevent me from being corrupted (and didn't let me get a driver's license), and beat the living crap out of me on a regular basis for offenses as small as laughing when he wanted quiet.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Geez Chrome. You just don’t seem to be able to catch a break! Your childhood sucked, you were a late bloomer, and then you marry your first GF? Now a few kids later, she is cold shouldering you in the bedroom? Ouch…
No sage advice right now. Though, Corri’s “Peace Between the Sheets” showed up today. I will let you know if it offers up the solution we have been looking for.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
I think of a true Alpha male as being secure enough in his domain/pack/masculinity that he can be nurturing towards others. The Beta wolf may be sensitive and social but wants too much nurturing himself to make up for the fact that he isn't Alpha. The lone wolf can be a good f*ck but would make a cr*ppy husband. The Beta wolf can be a good friend but might not be sexual or nurturing enough to be a good husband. That is why all the b*tches want to mate and marry the Alpha.
Interesting analysis Mojo. I think that sounds about right. I guess the true Alpha is the right combination I'm really wanting (strong yet nurturing). But still a very rare bird. Guys tend to be too far on the continuum one way or the other. Obviously, my H is too far Beta, but inching his way to some middle ground at least.
I am so far behind in work too. This board can be pure evil sometimes. my personal fantasy at least has never been for that “porno or pinup girl”. I have always fantasized about having such an intense love with that dark smoldering academic with pouty lips and intense eyes that we have slow, deep, passionate sex in doorways because the bed was just too far away. Then again, I rank Janeane Garofalo as one of the sexiest women alive. Thus, you might not want to use me as a gauge for “most men” either. You sounds a lot like my H, not into that porno/pin-up type either. Although I don't think Janeane Garofalo is at the top of his list, lol. Guess you are your own rare bird Brian. And about this: having such an intense love with that dark smoldering academic with pouty lips and intense eyes that we have slow, deep, passionate sex in doorways because the bed was just too far away. So your diabolical plot is to truly torture the women on this board, right?
the alpha male is unwilling to kowtow to any request that he sees as invalid or contrary to his nature of being pack leader, i.e. anything that would show true weakness. So one of the things that can cause conflict is the necessity that many women state of wanting their man to be "vulnerable." The alpha will attempt to mask that very strongly.
See, that's how I sort of looked at it too. But Mojo tends to see the Alpha as more the ideal (?). I'm still not sure if the Alpha man would be able to be "vulnerable" like you stated Chrome. Let me rephrase that, I think he will feel vulnerable but would not be comfortable showing it to me. That "macho" exterior is the part that can get old fast.
“So your diabolical plot is to truly torture the women on this board, right?” No, I think my own frustrations were kind of driving with that thought. It has been a bit of a dry spell. Plus, my last three attempts this week to demo my best “throw down” were denied.
Wow, this raises a really great question in line with our alpha male discussion. How would the alpha male try to get the love’n train moving in a day to day real life scenario? Take the middle of a hectic work week for example. The “Hey baby let’s go” approach just won’t fly with a LD partner. Though, the wind blown curtains with swinging chandeliers romance novel seduction by candle light is a bit much to pull off multiple times a week too. Any one have any thoughts? Considering the counter side too, how should the alpha male respond to rejection?
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
to MrsNop and to Blackfoot!
