“More like the freaks in high school I guess. But good kids. Always got good grades, that sort of stuff. Sort of nerdy cool. We thought we were cool anyways”
What, are you trying to say that being on the Speech and Debate team does not make you one of the popular kids? Hehe… yes, I know what you mean well. Were you a New Waver back then or did that come later?
So, to sum up your R history, you went from shy and unnoticed to “wild child” very briefly at the end of high school. Then, college rolls around and you dove right into a serious long-term thing. You mentioned that you had some experiences in between, but those were probably just hard, fast, and short. Then, right out of college you met your H and that was it. Is that about right? If so, did you ever really feel “comfortable, secure, and desirable” for any significant duration while you were single (the stress is on single here)? I hear you saying that you wish you had explored more. Though, I am kind of wondering if the “exploring” you desire might really be that you never really completely flushed out your self-identity. Specifically, you spent a lot of time seeking validation or having external validation. Though, did you ever get a chance to grow to a point where you did not feel you needed it?
“I'm not sure this guy could even exist in reality.”
It is funny to read your description. Though, I can tell you from first hand experience that even though you list those as desirable attributes, the reality is that most women don’t actually go for “that guy”. Instead, most women seem to actually pick the arrogant insensitive dominating types even though they know he is all wrong. I am at a loss to explain this. Do you have any insight why women will list an ideal, but willing choose to go the wrong route in a man any way? Heck, your description is not your H, so why did you?
Last edited by Brian_M; 05/18/0605:39 PM.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
