Jane: First let me start off by saying that I'm glad you came here with the goal of finding a way to repair your marriage. I also want to say it took a lot of guts to tell the truth and expose yourself. I think that there are a lot of issues, one of which is you are blaming your H and his need to change only, when you obviously need to do some changing yourself. You have kept yourself busy and did what you wanted the whole relationship, but didn;t factor in the effort of your H to allow you to do such a thing. He has taken care of your S, which from the sound of it came from another broken relationship, gave you time and space and was caring. If you could try and put 1/2 as much energy into working on yourself and your relationship with H as you do in having fun and cheating, then you can have a great chance. You are good at making excuses as to the why it's not your fault for cheating, for being gone, for anything, but you need to take some responsibility. It seems you are on the edge and need a push to get inside and start to do the right thing. Reading your story made me happy to hear you came to the right place to learn how to piece things back. However, it also angered me a great deal to see you ripping apart your marriage, your sons life again, and the way you are helping break apart another innocent family. It's really easy to see all the good in OM when all you have to deal with is the sex and fun times. Don't confuse Lust for Love. You are in Lust and think you are in Love. Being in Lust does not justify your actions. Sorry for speaking from the heart, I don;t know if you wanted the honesty, but you got it anyway.
