Glad you are posting instead of just reading. I'm sorry you didn't get the help you needed the first time.
One thing jumped out from your post. You said, "As H has told me, out of anger of course, I am high maintenance. I needed to feel special and since H couldn't be around because he needed to take care of our obligations (work, son, home) I became vulnerable."
But earlier in your post, you said that you work full time, are a fulltime student and ride your horse 5 days a week. (I understand that the affair started shortly after you started school, so you were not as busy in the months leading up to the affair.) It sounds to me like you must have been every bit as busy as your H. Do you think this is the symptom of your problem (H wasn't there for you as a companion, so you filled your life with other things) or the cause (you were so busy with work, school, horseback riding and H was so busy with work, house, son that there was no time for togetherness)?
One other thing that pops out of your post. YOu said: "Although OM is married with three children, his W was able to take care of their obligations and he readily made time for me." So the OW's wife took care of his kids and home life. Sounds like your H was taking care of your son and home. This is curious to me. Could part of the problem be a dispute about who does what jobs in the household? Does it have to be one or the other of you doing these jobs or could you do some of them together? E.g. doing stuff with you son, doing maintainance work around the house together?
It sounds to me like maybe you and your H have not found things that you BOTH enjoy doing TOGETHER. Do you think you could come up with a list of a few things that would fit the bill?
Franny
[This message has been edited by Franny (edited 09-18-2000).]
[This message has been edited by Franny (edited 09-18-2000).]
