Hi, I'm also new to this board. I've posted a few times and been reading lots. My H and I are into 21 months of recovery after his nine year on again, off again EA with same OW whom he thought (at one time) was his soul mate. The first 11 months of that 21 months was torturous: We had many sleepless nights of arguing and hashing and hurting each other. It took me that long to convince him (or him that long to realize) that he wanted our marriage. Since then, we have been slowly working toward rebuilding. Its been a long hard road with mostly two steps forward, one step back. I'm struggling with trust and believing he is being honest with me now (nine years is a long time to be lied to). Lately, it seems very difficult to talk about OR because I do not get supportive responses from him I feel I am needing at this time. So, I've been withdrawing the last few days which I wonder if its good because I wonder if I am emotinally distancing myself from him which can't be good. He, too, thinks the past does not exist anymore for him because he has let go off it. Its not so easy for me to let go off. It revisits my mind often. I have trouble believing him when he says he loves me because he said it for the nine years of EA when she was supposingly his soul mate. When he told me 21 months ago, he said he hadn't loved me for 10 years but now he wants me to believe he is being honest when he says He does love me, and never stopped. I'm really struggling lately. I'm worried about not having OR talks because I'm concerned we may grow apart again. We are reading Men Are from Mars. We've been reading since the beginning of July and are not even half way through it. He has a short attention span when it comes to OR I guess. I'm trying to be positive but the last week I've been feeling pretty negative emotionally.
