Sorry HH. I know it feels like you are not being heard but it really does help to stay with one thread and ride out the lulls. It has happened to me and everyone else on the board from time to time but if you think of this as a place to mainly journal your experiences and hope for input, you may feel better.
As for your current sitch, I have not been commenting because I don't feel I have much advice for you other than the same "DB" advice as always. I think your W is still angry and bitter and my best suggestion is that you find a way to pull back even more. It seems like you are still trying to "fix" things and she is resistant to your very presence let alone you "fixing" anything.
So detach, back off and see what happens but most of all, redouble the "taking care of yourself" part of DB until there is a line of communication between you and W that will enable you to start working on your R.
I know that DB says no R talks for the most part but I can't help wondering if you may be ok to just tell W why you are going to "detach" and pull back. As a LBS you try to create mystery but as a WAS or cheater, you want to dissolve all mystery and be transparent so maybe the part of DB that says NO R talk could be amended for you.
I just feel like you don't want her to think your detachment and pulling back is for any other reason than to work on you and try to become a better man.
Please, anyone else out there agree or disagree with that?
