Dear alottolearn, I think I may have answered you elsewhere on this board, but I want to clarify something here.
I didn't say Joanne shouldn't have OR conversations, I said she shouldn't sit around expecting her husband to initiate them. There's a big difference.
Secondly, Joanne differs from many who visit here in that her husband wants to stay married. He's invested in their relationship. I suggest that visitors stop haivng OR talks when their spouses are half way out the door. Then, OR talks are almost always destructive and hurtful and the leaving spouse feels pressured. Don't ask questions if the responses are going to be negative- is the rule of thumb. Hope this helps. Michele
