O man. alot has happened in such a short time. Well, that's just what I'm thinking. Getting advice from all of y'all (Hopefully that's just not a Texas term) has really helped. Plus I've been going back to my books and cramming. But going 'dark' has given positive results. First of all. There was no court. Nothing is set up. Hopefully it will not be EVER! My W called me out of the blue wondering if I'm doing ok. She was worried. I talked to her as a happy individual keeping my composure and trying not to sound too happy but happy enough to show that I'm doing really good and handling life. I talked to her for a few minutes and had to get back to work. The week went without any negative. I then thanked her for the phone call. (We text to communicate) I said it put a smile on my face, but for her it made her sad. I asked if I could call her. We had set up the next day I could text before I would call. Well, she was tired and I said I was too. Said good night. Texting without a phone call. And today I had the hardest time trying not to text. I went the whole day wondering how, when and if I should. 9:30p came around. I'm finishing my day at work and she text's me if I had time to talk. I called her once I got in my car. We talked for about half an hour. Mostly about health issues she has, but here and there talking about family and other things. She had told me about her neice asking about me. And she told her neice that I'm not her friemd anymore. And that when that happens cuz it happens at times, she gets sad and will start to cry. A sign to me that there is still feelings. (Wow!) I said wow, but that's ok. No problem. And if my W could send her neice my love. I told my W how I hardly drink anymore and have been working out. She seemed very impressed by me saying that. Also I asked her about attending church. One that she got me into and I now volunteer at. She said that since I am going there she doesn't want to attend. I told her that I will not bother her if I see her. I will leave her alone and I'm there to get filled. That church has really helped me and as I was in the beginning being needy, begging, pursuing was common as I have read in the material I have. And that realizing that those reactions and actions are destructive I have cut them out of my life. And she agreed and acknowledged that I have not been like that. All in all it was a good converstation. More initiative coming from her I think by her asking me to call her. Wow again. At first in the conversation I heard alot of sniffling and I asked her about that. It was just allergies she said. I'm thinking otherwise. Maybe sorrow, tears? Something other than? Who knows. But we did have a wonderful. Let me type that again with more emphasis. We had a WONDERFUL conversation. It ended at a good time. But it left me wanting more. I know that patience is still needed. But I think I can see the road now to victory rather than being stuck in the woods lost. My compass is y'all (there I go again), the material I have to read and most importantly Jesus Christ and GOD. Praise GOD for what is happening. Now what do I do?
Keep in mind that the emotions of the WAS swing back and forth. She probably called you after an argument with the OM and she was upset with him. Since then, they've probably kissed and made up and she might be very rude and short with you the next time you talk. Don't let it get to you if she does.
Keep volunteering at church and working on GAL. Don't point out to your W the things that you are doing -- just let her notice the man you're becoming and let her start wanting that.
I'm glad to hear of the progress in your sitch. Great news about no D papers!
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Hey thanks RBinBR. I am taking your 'heads up' to heart. No more reassurances. You're right, let her see for herself the kind of person I have become. I've got a friend that tells me all the time now that he's seen a great change in me. Even in my eyes. And when the time comes when my W and I meet face to face she'll notice it too. We'll see what tomorrow has for us all. This website and forums are God sent.
