BI, I hate to smack you when you're down, but you need to get a grip on yourself. All the crying, the desperation, the self-hatred that I see in you right now is NOT DB at all.
You need to pull back big time RIGHT NOW. Stop being so needy, and stop asking him to do stuff with you. Give him space and let him miss you a little. GAL and get out of the house.
C'mon, BI, you can do this!
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)