Run with me through rows of Speeding Cars

[believing_isaiah43]

Ya'll. I just had such a bad dream this afternoon. I was able to come home early today b/c our patient load was low enough on my unit to send me home. I am so tired from this run of work this week. Lots of overtime and swing shifts.

So, I am feeling puny and come to the bed about 4pm for a nap, and have this AWFUL nightmare. It sounds silly to write the details, but the upshot is that our fam was living in an apt. somewhere for about 8-9 months and one day I hear H in the apt next to ours laughing with OW, and it turns out he moved us there right next-fcuking-door to OW months prior and never let on. I go over to the apt to confront OW and she basically laughs at me b/c I'm so stupid and gullible.

I woke up right at that point in the dream, jumped out of bed and opened the bedroom door, startled H who was coming up the stairs, and burst my crazy-sleep-deprived self into tears.

I told H I had had a nightmare, he asked what about, I shook my head, still crying. He hugged me for a minute and reiterated that it was only a dream, and working 3 nights in a row is killing me. (of course I have several 3-night runs coming up in the next few weeks. kill me now).

Ya'll, I wept like a refugee for the rest of the evening, just walking around with my eyeballs leaking tears that I couldn't stop. Every time I went to get a tissue to wipe my eyes in the bathroom, I would just sob. WTH? I guess that inner Quisinart is not successfully keeping my junk to myself. Danged subconsious.

And so. Some Tori Amos lyrics...

baker baker baking a cake
make me a day
make me whole again
and i wonder what's in a day
what's in your cake this time

i guess you heard he's gone to l.a.
he says that behind my eyes i'm hiding
and he tells me i pushed him away
that my heart's been hard to find

here
there must be something here
there must be something here
here

baker baker can you explain
if truly his heart was made of icing
and i wonder how mine could taste
maybe we could change his mind

i know you're late for your next parade
you came to make sure that i'm not running
well i ran from him in all kinds of ways
guess it was his turn this time

time
thought i'd make friends with time
thought we'd be flying
maybe not this time

baker baker baking a cake
make me a day
make me whole again
and i wonder if he's ok
if you see him say hi