Hi Believing! My puter locked up on my last attempt to reply and naturally, it was wisdom packed and so profound! I'll try my best to redo it.
about his feelings not being 'there'...this is definitely not a problem if you are both patient. I've read about people praying for it and then its there, stronger than ever. (restoring what the locusts have eaten, 'member?) Maybe there are some issues to be dealt with first--might be worth talking that one through.
One note--my H needs affirmations and compliments a LOT (so do i, but somehow that never concerns him) and in the last few years, when i saw he wasn't giving them, I stopped giving them too. Unfortunately, I think that was one of the things that finally drove us apart-he wasnt getting anything from me anymore. I would seek guidance on that; it may be one of the things that will bring him emotionally back to you--your consistantly being there for him even when he wasn't.
as for emailing each other--H and i always communicated best on the phone. i remember having arguments and we'd separate afterwards-he'd watch TV and i'd go upstairs to read or sew...then i'd just call him on the phone (we had 2 phone lines) and we'd talk for hours and work everything out. brings back memories. do you email deep stuff or just surface?
i hear you about the OW...i asked God to end this quickly because the longer it takes, the more crap there'll be to work through later...it HURTS and it comes to you like steel tipped arrows right in the heart. its the enemy trying to get you. i do know that God can protect you from that--He's been protecting me from the hurt of H being with her now-unless i slip up and let myself dwell on it. I claim the verse in Ephesians about the armor of God: 6:16 "In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the eveil one." It works, believe me! It was a big revelation to me about life that God doesn't remove the arrows, but He does provide you with a strong shield to deflect them. Also, the verse in Philippians 4:8 "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things" This is for our own good--to keep us optimistic and hopeful, and not depressed and hurting. We need to learn to control our minds-not an easy thing to do; i'm not sure which is harder to control, the tongue or the mind. i think we indulge the mind, because its just US that hears it BUT the thoughts are the breeding ground of all our feelings. if we think bad things, we become angry, hurt, resentful, etc. if we concentrate on positve things, its easier to stay upbeat. If we have problems in that area, God will help us if we ask Him. (WTH-the Bible's talking about maintaining a PMA!) End of sermon...was that for you or for me???
I lounged in bed today til 11am!! not a usual occurance; i usually get up early no matter what time i go to bed. i was laying there contemplating my situation and wondering what would happen if i started flirting and actively pursuing my H--what if i tried to jump him one day, would that interest him? would it gradually start to intrigue him enough to infiltrate his mind and relationship with OW?? We've had such a checkered past; ML in the most outrageous places, i wonder if i started in like that again, what would happen?
good luck with your late hours...monday i start early hours; we have stage shoots for the next 3 weeks and i'll be working 7-3pm...nice cuz i get to go home earlier, not nice cuz i never seem to get to bed before 2am. Oh well, life is like that (see, that's my PMA cuz i wanted to say, life sucks). Hang in there, BI, and thanks for your post on my thread-it helped! jacqm
