Run with me through rows of Speeding Cars

[cat03]

ok, it's scary how your feelings mirror mine to a T!! have you been picking my brain?? never replied to you before, I saw your post on "piecing". You have been through a lot! my hat off to you for being a SAHM and then started working full force, you are amazing.

Going back to the feelings of the A, again, I'm speachless because what you post is exactly how I feel, I keep finding stuff, as of Tuesday found yet again another note of my H's when he was with OP and yes, there was that tightness in my chest and my hands were shaking and felt that sickness in me.

I also didnt' mean to snoop, I was looking for something else and BAM! Right now, next to me, there is a list about how H is not with OP anymore and how they separated, and how it is OVER now. I need to remind myself because I am still sick about it. YES ! I WANT WHAT HE GAVE HER DAMN IT!!! we are paying over 10k of debt he incur and a good chunk he spent on her, makes me so sick, we are on a tight budget and I even have to count our trips to McD's w/ kids. Honey, I so feel how you feel, and you know what helped relieve that pressure on my chest? this verses I found on my bible on Tuesday:
(thinking of OP): "mine is the vengance says the Lord" "do not pay evil with evil, overcome evil with good" a lots of other verses telling me not to let anger get the best of me (I will find them)

On the note I found what is pretty much the reason WAS spend time, money and attention to those home wreckers, he wrote "when I feel bad, I want do do something nice for SOMEONE else".

Do you see that? the OPs are mere DISTRACTIONS!!! there are an outlet, a damn toilet if you will, where they poured out their frustrations. WE are worth more, when they married us and spend time and $$ on us they did it out of LOVE not desperation.

WE ARE WORTH A MILLION TIMES MORE

Yes, I too (internally) salivate for crumbs of my H's affection. But let's put it this way, we are staring over again, we are building our M brick by brick, and any improvement or gesture from them are steps forward.

BIG hugs, hang in there, you've done so much)))))))))))