You are a sweetpea, GH. Thanks for posting. Worked 12hrs today and go back for half day tomorrow. so. tired. Need some new feet.
Anyway, I was re-reading some of the posts from earlier in my thread and 2 things popped out that I paused to come post about. A_14 advised me to 'get centered' - which is absolutely necessary. How that happens or what it looks like is not clear yet, but I was once again reminded how important that is to sanity and a stable R.
And Walkingback addressed my negative self-talk, which our MC also has addressed in both H & I, and gave us homework to try to catch our 'tapes' of that when they play in our heads and re-word them. I honestly didn't think I would be able to 'catch' it b/c it's so ingrained in the way I think that I figured it wasn't even an audible voice anymore. But I have noticed it at times, and have been amazed at the stuff I'll say to myself w/out even thinking about it. 'I'm so retarded', 'I'm an idiot', etc. yuck. When I have caught myself (only about 0.001% of the time that I'm doing it, I'm sure) I've been able to say, 'no I am NOT an idiot, I'm just tired and distracted' or whatever. So just the fact that I've made that effort to do an excercise I've been aware of for years but never acted on has pleased me somewhat.
In other news, last week MC told H to commit to coming to bed with me just ONCE a week (he still has kept the habit of staying awake at night as his decompression time), and we go back to MC tomorrow with that UNachieved in the last 9 days. sigh.
To clarify, this is not a come-to-bed-to-ML assignment, just a come to bed before-I'm-already-asleep-so-we-can-hang-out-and-talk assignment. Granted, there was my Exit Stage Left on Saturday, but we talked about it and he made the plan to come to bed twice, and postponed twice, and hey! -would you look at that? Assignment not met. Something to discuss tomorrow, so I'm kind of glad for that part of it.
Will let you know what comes of the MC appt tomorrow. Thanks for hanging in with me, those who still read here!
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
assignment, just a come to bed before-I'm-already-asleep-so-we-can-hang-out-and-talk assignment. Granted, there was my Exit Stage Left on Saturday, but we talked about it and he made the plan to come to bed twice, and postponed twice, and hey! -would you look at that? Assignment not met. Something to discuss tomorrow, so I'm kind of glad for that part of it.
