Run with me through rows of Speeding Cars

[believing_isaiah43]

GH, thank you for taking the time to post to my situation.

but you seem to be VERY caught up in the drama of all this.

Absolutely. A lifelong issue. I have been so caught up in 'being pursued' that I would get in my car after fighting with boyfriends in college and 'make' them chase me down. What a nightmare I was. I think my passion is initially great in a R, and then backfires completely long-term. I'm not sure what the attraction to drama is (as if the absence of it would be a bad or something), but it's been around me forever. Obviously of my own design.

Your self dialog is going a million miles a second

your "manic" approach, or at least what we see here as such, may put him off a bit, and to read into it even more, it could be that it always has.

Hard to read, but accurate. Difficult to see & accept how I come across to people. A throwback to my childhood crap: If I dance fast enough, you won't see how screwed up I am. Not how I wish to be perceived, but completely understandable. It's funny how the things people like about me in public (enthusiasm/passion/fun, etc) doesn't translate well into my M b/c some of it is a masquerading dance that doesn't work well in deeper-than-surface M (if that makes sense).

We are in MC together (a bad C from Jan-March, and currently one C we like for about 3 sessions now), and I've been in IC on and off for oh, forever, it seems. Just joint MC going on now.