This may be a bit off, and if it is, I am sorry, but you seem to be VERY caught up in the drama of all this. I am NOT saying you like it but you do seem to be passionate about every aspect of your ordeal and I don't think that serves you well. I think one thing you could do to maybe curb your need to be DOING something all the time is to just slow down. Take a breath. Sketch (nice BTW). Anything to put the brakes on. That's why GAL is so important, in addition to the message it sends WAS, because without occupying our minds with something else, we would burn out VERY quickly thinking about this as I think you are.
You seem a lot like me in the sense that you can communicate pretty well with us AND with yourself and that is a double edged sword. Your self dialog is going a million miles a second and I think you just need to understand that this WILL NOT be a fast paced process and the more you interject your "passion" into it, the more likely your H may feel stifled, pressured and otherwise less motivated to "work" on things.
He DOES seem to be the more calm one but I suspect that your "manic" approach, or at least what we see here as such, may put him off a bit, and to read into it even more, it could be that it always has.
So much of this is about understanding ourselves AND the perception others have of us. Not that perception should be the thing we worry about the most but we still need to be aware of how WE think of ourselves and then how that translates into what we project into the world. I think you are starting to understand that you are your own worst enemy so start working on being your best friend. Help yourself by NOT reveling in the drama. When you get worked up over something, recognize that and the just go for a jog or meditate, anything other than going to H and "expressing yourself" in a time of heightened emotion or energy. There will be time and places for that kind of expression later. For now, maybe a more gentle approach, one you FORCE yourself to adopt, may work better.
As for the lack of sex, I get that, I really do but your H seems to be a man of the sort that actually DOES attach something to sex other than just the physical act and as such, may need a lot more time to get to that point. I know my W is taking a LONG time to get there but I am still plugging away, trying to subtly increase our intimacy level so she feels more and more comfortable. I would LOVE to throw her against a wall, as OT has suggested, but I am 100% positive that she is not ready for that. Maybe your H is 100% positive YOU aren't either, lol. I hope there is a wall throwing in BOTH of our futures.
All in all, I think you are doing better than you think and yes, you need to back off a bit from H but you also need to cut yourself some slack.
I also think you stand to get some good feedback here because you ARE so good at telling your story. Not only that but you will help people too because your communication of not only what you and H DO but how you FEEL is really good for us to understand. Please, keep posting and we'll keep reading.
