Hi Michele and Joanne- I just finished reading the walkaway thread you provided the link to and I have to say that I truly found it fascinating. Fascinating, I suppose because it reminded me that the process of formulating action-oriented goals is not just for the potential walkaway, but also really for the spouse who has been left. The key differences seem to be that for the spouse who has been left the action-oreiented goals are self-goals and are not necessarily openly shared with the walkaway, while the potential walkaway is looking at and clearly communicating the goals that he or she wants or needs the spouse to achieve. Interestingly, at the risk of generalizing a bit, it would seem that the walkaway Hs often refer to nagging and smothering neediness as part of the basis for leaving and the walkaway Ws refer to neglected intimacy as part of the basis for leaving. Both obviously have the common thread of communication breakdown and, Michele, your technique is so good at showing the path to changing the WAY you deliver messages, as opposed to recommending that you necessarily change heartfelt messages.
All of this is again such a helpful reminder that the work that one needs to do in maintaining and nurturing a healthy relationship is lifelong. Michele, I guess I don't actually have any questions at this stage and merely offer my comments and appreciation re. your finding another avenue to help those of us who truly want to stay on a positive course and learn as much as possible. Thank you and I look forward to reading more about the assistance you're providing Joanne--Jamie
