What are some of the 180's that you folks have done. Wich ones worked the best for you. Last night I put on some different cologne and she noticed right off the bat.
Married 11 years, together 15
Two Daughters 6 and 2
D-day Jan.14 2006
Thread 1
Well I know all of you have been through some pretty tough things or you would not be here. I am not trying to be a whine bag here but last night was really hard. I was doing OK until I was driving home from work. The second I turned down my driveway I just had the biggest break down yet. No one home, no smell of food coming from the kitchen, just a bunch of cleanup from the camping trip. How do you folks deal with it? I hope this gets easier with time. I just feel so alone. Good news is that the girls are going to stay a couple of night with me. I don't have anything planned other than just playing and helping them enjoy being home. I am planning on going to my nieces softball games this weekend to help me GAL when the my girls are not around. Also I think I will buy some new work clothes. I am not much of a shopper and since this has all heppend I have lost a lot a weight. So I guess it is time to get some that fit.
Married 11 years, together 15
Two Daughters 6 and 2
D-day Jan.14 2006
Thread 1
Don't beat yourself up. Feel your emotions, let them out, and then get past them. The only bad way to do this is to make decisions when your emotions are high but to deny them entirely is a different kind of bad.
I think you already know what's up because soon after you are focusing on the good news of your kids comming to stay.
As far as being a "whine bag"...I wouldn't worry about it. This is a better place to whine than in front of your W. Vent and break down here and be strong in front of her.
As far as the house, I'm sorry. I know exactly how you feel. When I moved into my apartment it was one of the most miserable experiences of my life. I hated coming "home" to that empty apartment. I have since moved back to my parents (couldn't afford house and apartment). Don't be afraid to have a cry and just try to find things to keep yourself busy. If you can't find anything else to do come back here and post.
Good morning all. Well I got the girls home last night. It helped a lot. It was nice to not have an empty house. With the kids there it is always busy. The wife called to tell the kids goodnight but she talked my ear off about her job problems. I am not sure to just listen and be sympathetic or just cut her off. She did call me this morning to come open her car lock. She had locked herself out and I have the extra key. I had to drive 20 min each direction and I ended up being late, but it was worth it. She looked amazing and she was wearing the shirt I bought her about 2 months ago. Man this is tough. The kids threw a fit this morning as I was headed out the door to work. They did not want me to leave but I had too. This seperation is taking a huge toll on my D5. We played and had a lot of fun, riding the 4-wheeler and bikes and playing on the swing, last night when we got home. D2 even slept all night for me. She usually wakes up a couple of time night, but when she has been staying with just me she has been doing great. Well anyway, I am just giving an update in my day-to-day stuff. What can I do to get the wife to notice me? She just seems so uninterested in me.
Married 11 years, together 15
Two Daughters 6 and 2
D-day Jan.14 2006
Thread 1
Quote: What can I do to get the wife to notice me? She just seems so uninterested in me.
I have no freaking clue right now. If you figure it out, let me know. I think it has SOMETHING to do with being your own man and not being so concerned what she thinks. Independence in other words, or at least independent thought.
Question? Do you ever think that it is even possible for my W and reconcile? From reading DR I had some thoughts. My wife told me that it was her that was the problem and no me. Which is just what Michelle says in the infedelity chapter about needing an ego boost. She has told her parents that she is really trying to work on the marraige yet she is not doing anything but ignoring me. It is real obviouse that she is not doing a darn thing. My W persued the OM until he gave into her. I know in my heart she is still seeing this guy even though she says she has cut it off with him. I beleive that she is still sneeking around because her parents both say they don't want anything to do with this other guy. They told she better not have him at her new place becuase her Dad won't let her stay there anymore.
I just question myself on why I would put up this crap. I know the main reason is my kids. If I didn't have kids I would not be putting myself through this. I just want my children to grow up with both parents. I beleive it is so important for them. Now don't get me wrong I love my W beyond beleif, but the hell she has put on this family is incredible.
I took the kids to her place on the way to work and I tried playing it pretty cool. She seemed a little down this morning. I think she had the OM over last night because she was acting very strange when she called to talk to kids before bedtime.
If you hadn't noticed I am just rambling this morning but these are some of the things I think about. It is extremely hard to understand when I walk through the house and see so much of my life missing. I don't think she took one picture of me and her to the place. I know she took the photo albums but she left all the big pictures of the kids on walls. Some of the stuff she took makes no sense and some of the stuff she left makes no sense. For crying out loud she left the stuff to do fake fingernails. Now what would I want with that? Anyway my mind is racing today so I sure I will post quit a bit.
Married 11 years, together 15
Two Daughters 6 and 2
D-day Jan.14 2006
Thread 1
Another thing is talking about the R. My W is so stubborn and pridefull that I don't think the R will ever get talked about unless I bring it up, which a haven't. I am trying show my strengh and just be friendly when we are together. About the only thing we talk about these days are the kids and money. We haven't talked about the relationship in 3 weeks I'll be ya.
Married 11 years, together 15
Two Daughters 6 and 2
D-day Jan.14 2006
Thread 1
Quote: Do you ever think that it is even possible for my W and reconcile?
Yes.
Quote: She has told her parents that she is really trying to work on the marraige yet she is not doing anything but ignoring me. It is real obviouse that she is not doing a darn thing.
Don't fall into this trap. Just because YOU can see her doing anything does NOT mean she isn't doing a "damn" thing. I just posted this to someone else (and really should take my own advice, lol) but what constitutes trying for your W may not look like anything to you. Trying to her may be a WHOLE lot more about exploring feelings than dating, talking to you, or being physical with you. I seriously doubt you noticed her "trying" to leave you, what makes you think you will notice any more when she is "trying" to come back, especially when she doesn't live with you.
She may be sneaking around or whatever but you can't be concerned with that. Stop worrying about what you can't control and start worrying about what you can.
Oh, and just because she "pursued" OM does NOT mean she's going to pursue YOU, especially when you are so busy pursuing HER.
