Hi Everyone,
Joanne has agreed to work on her marriage with a little bit of my help. I want to do this with her because a, I think it will be helpful and b, everyone reading this will understand the nuts and bolts of being solution-oriented and how I work. Suffice it to say that what I'm about to do with Joanne is not to be considered therapy. Therapy is what happens in my office. There are many confidentiality issues to contend with and there are plenty of other differences. In fact, I would suggest that Joanne and her husband seek professional counseling with an SBT as well. However, this will help you understand some of the thinking behind my books, tapes and seminars. And mostly, I surely hope Joanne and her family will benefit from it.<p>If you want to read what lead to all of this, go to this post. In particular, read the dialogue between Joanne and me:<p> why Joanne wants to walk<p>Here's what I suggested that Joanne do so that we can begin this process:
I want you to start off by really thinking about no more than three goals you have for your marriage. Remember, they must be action-oriented. Describe what I would be seeing or hearing if I were a fly on the wall in your home or somewhere near where you and your husband are. Also, make sure they are stated positively rather than describing what he or you both will be doing less of. For example, "I want to hear more compliments"...rather than "I wish he weren't so critical." Finally, make sure that your goals are broken down into the smallest step possible. Ask yourself, "What will be the VERY FIRST sign that things are moving in the right direction in regards to this particular goal?"<p>Once you write your goals, I will review them and help you fine tune them if necessary. So let's get started. <p>I'll be looking for Joanne's next post. <p>If you have questions about this process, you can post on this thread. However, please do not ask questions about your situation here. Start another thread elsewhere. Thanks for your cooperation.
Michele<p>[ November 16, 2001: Message edited by: Michele ]</p>
