I am so sad that you are in the same boat that I have put myself in. We were not on the same side of the fence originally, but we certainly are now.
I was reading your thread and could really identify with much of your experience, thoughts, and emotions. My W and I have a D5 and a S9mos. I had the A and my W voted me out of the house and has come down firm in her position that she is through. I have chosen to DB alone, delicately.
She is out dating and I have stopped asking questions b/c I don't want any details. It's bad enough that I know, and I console myself with the thought that the Lord and I want our M to succeed and that she MUST get this activity out of her system for our M to ever have a chance to reconcile and rebuild. I do believe it would be worse if she was lying and behaving this way and WE were supposedly working on our M again.
Well...anyway, that's how I am keeping my head on straight. That and focusing on our children and working on GAL so that I can honestly tell her, "No, I am busy. Sorry." When I am busy, I don't focus on things that I have no control over.
Every day I get stronger as I frequent this site and have been working on venturing out to other threads and offering my insight and opinion of other's sitches. I feel akin to other posters who feel my pain and offer their time, effort, and energy to others they really don't know but feel a closeness with nonetheless. I truly feel that my spirituality is nurtured here and that I am made to feel stronger and complete due to typing out my feelings to caring folks here.
Keep posting and reading other threads. You will often find YOUR situration attached to another's name and truly be able to identify with it and cull advice and direction that will be helpful and make sense to you. Good luck, friend. Keep on fightin' the good fight.
Quote: WINSTON CHURCHILL- Never, never, never, never give up.
I am with you, brother. Keep on keepin'on. This battle is more important to you than it is to anyone else, as my battle is to me. Work with me to control our responses to sitches we do not like, remember:
Quote: Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance. -BRUCE BARTON
Believe with me, brother! We are equal to the task at hand, we just don't control all of the circumstances. We do, however, control what is most important: our minds. Our minds create our thoughts, which determine our emotions/beliefs, which drive our will/behavior.
Quote: My counselor asked me one time, "Do you think you can brainwash yourself?" I said, "Uh, sure." Looking incredulously at me, she said, "Well, you brainwashed yourself into believeing a bunch of negative garbage about yourself by affirming it over and over. You certainly can do the same thing with positive thoughts by affirming them in the same way. Do you see?"
