Wow - we have too much in common! I've found distractions and time with my S5 to be very helpful to my mental state, and I also am frequently reminded by my W's behavior that the fact that she is "absolutely sure of what she wants" is a bunch of BS. She's torn to pieces every day. I have noted that giving her more space, but having some expectations of her re the house and son, seem to give her some direction and is actually appreciated. I find that leaving notes is far better than speaking - short, simple, unsigned, reasonable requests - particularly those that are to facilitate your GAL efforts. Remember - try to make them "for the kids", not you. If we can soothe, however indirectly, their guilt - it just might benefit us in the long run. It's great to be supportive and kind, but in their mental state they are absolutely attracted to strength - see my thread post about "falling off the DB wagon" this weekend. Just so you know I'm not arrogant about it!! I can't even follow my own advice - this is tough. Another subtle thing that gets to her: do some things with your children that she used to do alone with them (replacement 180's?).
