Stop everything you are doing and thinking right now. I want you to clear your mind, deep breaths. You have a D5 and D2. Let's say that 5yrs down the road you are divorced (hopefully it won't come to that, but what if). What kind of R do you want with current W. How do you want the kids to see the two of you interact? You both want to share holidays, b-days, sporting events, piano lessons, ballat, etc... Your behavior starting now determines how healthy your kids will grow up.
It's early for you, you and your W have a lot to go through. What is in your heart? What do you want? and what are you willing to do for it? Spend the time to quietly ask these questions...don't focus on her for now, don't put any pressure on her.
A birthday gift, get her a really nice trash can (or something else she needs for the new place)...tell her you do not want her to move out, but if she needs to in order to give the M hope in the future, you will support her decision. Tell her that what she needs is more important to you that what you need right now.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
