Wow, that is tough and I really do hate to point out that I have not gone through that...yet.
All I can say is that you WILL feel like $hit about this, before, during, and after. In my mind, it's just too powerful not to. What you CAN do in the meantime, is focus on the kids and do your best to make that trip fun for THEM even though I'm sure you'll be churning away inside. When you get back home, you will just have to see what greets you. If it's truly an empty house then first of all the gloves of deceit in terms of D5 are off. I think she needs to be told what's going on in a way, as hard as this may be, that allows her to still love mommy AND daddy and try not to place too much blame. Really, I hesitate to give this advice because I think there are better qualified people out there...help anyone? Anyway, I think for your own sake, you need to stop walking on egg shells around D5. She knows something is up already.
I feel for you man, I really do. I hope you can go through this and whatever happens, realize that after this weekend, with or without W in your home, you are going to need to start getting YOUR head and heart in order. You're going to have to become your own best friend and do the best you can for your kids because you're likely to be the one in the best position to do that right now.
Be good to you. Be excellent to your kids and be lovingly detached from your W until she decides what she's up to.
