Here is my sitch. All advice welcome

[RBinBR]

I have a gut feeling that she is still in contact with the OP. I have no proof.

I feel sure that you are right about this. For her to say that she's willing to work on the M -- and then not do it -- it's because she's still talking to the OM.

The worst part of the whole thing is trying to explain, without to much detail, what is going on to our 5 yr. daughter. She does not want mom and dad to live in two different houses.

It's hard, no question. My daughter, who's 4 and a half, was very confused and upset when mommy was gone. It helped her a lot when I simply told her "Mommy doesn't want to live with Daddy anymore." Now she understands what's happening (well most of it anyway, since I don't want her to know about OM) and she seems to be much more comfortable dealing with it.