I told you I would try your ideas, & let you know how it worked. Here it is:
Tues. night I had something upsetting happen, but Wed. am, I discovered he had been here in my home, w/o my knowledge, & taken some of his things. I felt violeted & let down & very upset. This was about 2 minutes before I had to leave for work.
As I was driving there, I shed quite a few tears. I remembered your post & thought I would give it a try. I knew I had to do something to get control of myself so I could do my job that day. I picked the phrase 'I am loving' - wasn't really sure what kinds of phrases you were referring to.
I tried it. I can't say that I felt wonderful, but it did get my mind off of what was bothering me at the moment & keeping me from concentrating on my work. Whenever the pain came rushing back at me that day, I did the same thing. I admit that I felt kind of silly walking around saying to myself 'I am loving, I am loving'. But, I was not about to break down in tears, and was able to do my job. And, I ended up reminding myself that I very much need to be able to support myself, & need to go to work every day & do a good day's work, so I will be able to keep my job. That I am there to do a job so I can get paid & pay my bills. That it is NOT the time for me to be focusing on my personal problems. I need to work, make new friends there & new contacts for future employment...& can't do any of that effectively if I'm walking around about to break into tears.
So, all in all, I think I shifted my focus off of the problems & onto something I CAN do something about. I did feel better & got my work done well. In my case, I believe that shifting my THINKING changed my FEELINGS. But, it does seem like the chicken / egg thing. Maybe it's different for each of us.
Anyways, thank you for the suggestions. Maybe I didn't do it exactly as I was supposed to, but it DID WORK! For that I am glad. I will try to get the book, but it will be a couple days before I have time to pursue that.
