Thanks for your replies and continued support. Rebuilding is not easy...and yes..those dates we remember. It seeems like after I learned about the affair and put things together, most of the bad things happened on important occasions: each of my sons' birthdays, Easter Sunday, My H's birthday, Mother's day, Father's day, June 22 (I know that makes no sense to you but that was the night that I thought my h was working overnight so I drove 70 miles round trip to where he worked to drop off clothes and toiletries for him...only to find out at a later date he was only working his shift and intended to spend the night with OW...how stupid was I???). I always wondered how I would make it through those days this year...but I did. This is where the tongue biting has to take place...I was hurting thinking about those times, but I had to think about what the consequences would be if I brought them up to him. By not saying anything, I think he realized those would be tough for me and suddenly he was more attentive without a word from me...like the 3 phone calls yesterday. I am happy now...but it hasn't been easy. That MLC monster is a crazy one and tough to conquer. My children got through the whole thing pretty much in tact. They are good kids and love both of us very much. But they also know what their dad did was wrong. I hope that will help them in their future relationships. Patience "Hope)...how are things with you? It has been a long time and I haven't really been keeping up with the board as often as I'd like to. I want to thank you especially for all your help and advice throughout the past year. To all of the rest of you...be patient. Be happy. Work on yourself and your PMA. Love your children. Only ask questions that you know you can handle the answers to. If your spouse is having an affair, remember..the OW/OM is not important to you at all. To this day I don't know who she was , where she lived, or what she looked like. I do know he works with her, but he doesn't have much contact with her. It bothered me at first, but as our relationship got better, the fact they worked at the same place became less of a threat. My prayers go out to each of you on your journies. Good things will be yours. Karen
PS. Jenny, I just posted at the same time you did. Thanks for being there. You were a big inspiration to me the whole time I was going through rough waters. I was so happy to hear of your success...finally. When you set your sights and have a goal...there are many obstacles in the way. You came through them beautifully. i think the whole process , although hurtful, was for a reason. I became a stronger, happier person. I have a better outlook on life. I am even more independent which adds to our relationship. I know you can relate to all those things as well. Be happy, Jenn
[This message has been edited by KarenMP (edited 08-14-2000).]
