I now do beleive I beelong here. Things have been going rather well. W is now back home and doing better this time around. I have been incredibly supportive to the point it about kills me. The worst is when she is so depressed that sh doesn't know what to do with herself. I here that this is normal and part of the re-adjustment and withdrawal phase. I also read about it in Dr. Harley's book "Surviving an Afair" where the spouse will only want to sleep and mope around. For her part, she is managing a lot better. It's just hard because I want to help but there's little one can do. She understands this and is putting forth a real effort. She talks of things for us to do in the future together and building our lives together but I also now know that talk is cheap.
No, I do not agree that an affair is justified. But, I also beleive in forgiveness. I have come to accept that there is nothing that I or her can do to undo what has happened though. So the options are - we either live with it and deal with it appropriatly (what ever that may be) or go our seperate ways. I have come to accept that my W is human. We have discussed some of this and the hows and whys of it. I think for the most part the OM is wearing off into a memory. There was actually an instance where they happened to see each other and he was trying to accuse me of some things she said. It upset her (YEA) in the fact that she thought she had dealt with it already and he brought it up again. In the end, it was as if he was trying to belittle me. Maybe in an effort to get her to leave. Anyhow, it was a chance meeting and he didn't fair well.
We relize we have a ways to go. I have heard it takes close to 2 years to rebuild.
I will try to get back here when possible and I will keep everyone here in prayer.
