How to Push into the Crucible

[NotATLDave]

Very good dicussion. My C (who was excellent) was mostly Schnarch-ish but focused on using the communication problems we had to illustrate fusion (though she never used any of these words...she knew how to deliver this stuff to the masses). She had us adopt some of the reflexive stuff...which we only use when we absolutely have to make sure we understand each other. It doesn't bring closeness...it just prevents mistakes. Unless we use a form of reflexive listening, we aren't allowed to get upset with the other for not undertanding each other. The "assumption of being heard" is symptom of a fused system. The degree of your fused state can be exposed by analyzing your communication patterns. Do you ever hear people say "he/she should have known that I don't like blah blah blah"? My divorced neighbor was talking like that once at a party and the other women in the room were totally agreeing with her. So much bad thinking is reinforced by well-intentioned friends who want you to feel good for a moment. The media is pretty bad about this too. Didn't we do a round-up of fusion-fantasy songs? I think that "Broken Wings" song came in at number 1. for the worst offender. Man, I'm rambling....I need some sleep (it's 4am here).