Yeah but I think you analyze way to much over everything she does. If she tells you what she feels you tell her it is wrong. That she is feeling this way because of xyz. That can be very irritating. I would imagine she feels it doesn't matter what she says to you.

I think you are wrong. Love is VERY important in a marriage. I think you have a strong ego and won't take into account at all that maybe being with you isn't appealing to her anymore. Maybe she wants more in life. She may be at a place where she wants to find love. You claim she likes to fight. But yet then you say you have learned what fights to pick. So I think you are both just as argumentative.

For many years she was SAHM. Working can change people. You meet new people and make friends. Maybe she has that foot out the door because she herself just doesn't know if she wants to be with you. (someone who doesn't love her)

I as a woman wouldn't find it appealing to be with you. For these reasons:
You don't love me
You have alienated your whole family from me and have spoke negatively about me. That would embarrass and humiliate me.
You don't act like a marriage is a joint situation. What yours is yours. There is no sharing.

But I don't think it matters what people say at all. You feel you are right and entitled to all your anger. If she gets angry then she is mad at her father. Your actions must not be working if she put up a retainer with a lawyer.

I just don't understand why stay together if there is no love? Can't you see past your anger and maybe take a look at your children who are sitting in a counselors office because of the way you two are. You are so into FOO issues. You have never addressed what FOO issues you think your own children will have.

I would never in a million years want my daughter to marry for convenience. I hope all my children experience love. I would never encourage them to stay where there is no love.