I don't know in the world you can read your posts and come to the conclusion that you are working on your marriage. I can honestly see how she could not want to get close to you. The more you post the more clearer it becomes. You really need to focus more on you and not on your wife.
First off let me say that after many years of marriage you can't even say you love her. Do you honestly think she doesn't feel this? I mean come on! I can't recall how many years now you have been married but can confidently say it is over 10 years. 10 years of being with someone, living with someone, making love to someone and watching them bring life to your children and raising them with love. And you can't say you love her. Why in the world are you there. I guess it is safe to say you don't make love to your wife. She is there for sex yes. But when you love someone you make love. Then you wonder why you were in a SSM. I wouldn't want to have sex with my husband if he couldn't even say he loved me. Sure I understand you may have not been in love when you first married and she was pregnant. But come on many years later.
There is not anything nice you can even say about her. In fact yet another attack to her is you tell your family not to call the house phone even? Or don't go on any family get togethers with her? First off that is sick behavior for your children to witness. Also a pretty big blow to her ego that you bad mouth to your family. She is basically thrown out of your life. Then you say she is avoiding you.
Another thing is I know in my marriage and any other marriage that I know which is quite a few none of go this is only mine. My husbands parents gave us a car. Ya know what they were ours. My parents gave us a car they were ours. If they were to give us some property it would be ours. If they helped us with a down payment the house would be ours. My husband would never have said ummmmm sorry honey but only 165,000 of the house is ours. My down payment of 5,000 is only mine. She has all these personal attacks you throw at her and I have never seen you post that she does this. You have just said her family was poor and it isn't your responsibilty that her family is that way. You have a real messed up sense of what marriage is about. I would be so hurt if my husband alienated me so much from everything. Because that behavior is so foreign to me. It is selfish and stingy. Marriage is sharing and loving.
I also have seen you post on here on a negative side about her mothering skills. Yet you have mentioned your children do well in school and she was a SAHM. Did you ever give her credit for that. Let me tell you there could be a hell of a lot worse things then smothering your children to much. She is a good mom these days to smoether and be involved. I am very very involved in my childrens lives. And guess what my daughter of 16 years old thanks me for it. There is a mother I know that is on welfare for medical but yet deals drugs with presription drugs she gets for free on welfare. She screws all kinds of low life men and has drug addicts in her house all the time. I mean what a crappy mom and role model for her children. So you should be thankful and give her a little credit for being a good mom. Don't down her and think negative things about everything and anything she does. I do believe she is a highly intelligent woman with a lot of education. So maybe the few things she may worry about with your children is warranted. She has the education to back up that knowledge while you don't. I am almost positve you mentioned she was in school for physchology.
No I don't see how your sitch could make sense in my world you are right. But I don't see how any woman could stand to be attacked so much and want to be intimate with that kind of man. Let alone want to get close to a man that doesn't even love me. I would want to go find true love. Maybe that is at the point she is at now. Like some of us are trying to decide if we can stay in a SSM. Maybe she is deciding if she can be in love starved marriage. And if that is the only kind of marriage she wants for her children to be able to witness. Maybe she is worried about the childrens FOO they will have. So maybe stop trying to analyze what issues she has waaaaay in the past. And start realizing what she may be thinking about your marriage in the now. Me and my husband may have our issues. We although have been making progress. But one thing I can say I am proud of is that they have seen us say I love you so many times. That is important for children to see. I just feel so sorry for your children to witness to all these power plays. I mean come on at a young age they are already in counseling. Maybe enough is enough with the two of you.
I am not trying to jump on you. Just trying to give you a little insite from a different look at things. And tell you that I think you are obsessed with what she does and what she thinks. Focus and work on you.
