I really don’t have a problem sharing the property and I told her I would be happy to do so. It amounts to putting the van title in joint names and designating the down payment for the house that my parents gave me years ago as community property. If we stay married, then what’s the difference, right? But why should I do this if she really has plans to grab as much as she can and get divorced? She didn’t directly say that she was not doing this (but she did admit it was her intention at one point), rather she said something to the effect of why has she not filed for divorce on her own if she did not intend to stay in the marriage. Well, that’s not quite the same as saying directly that she is disarming and will not leave the marriage, is it?
I do think the money is a vengeance thing, at least in her mind. I think the real issue is she needs an excuse to release her anger. Remember she has a large ego and has a major problem with becoming vulnerable to a man (she can be vulnerable to women or the kids). This means she needs to accept what she sees as a weakness and acknowledge the fact that she really does want to be loved.
A month or two ago she finally admitted in counseling that she felt abandoned by her father, was angry with him and she was treating me as she treated him. The counselor told her I was still here and was not abandoning her. The counselor then asked W how she thought it would feel to be loved. This was is very difficult for W to admit to but she eventually said it would feel good. Can you see that it really is her hurt inner child that is throwing up all these defenses, trying to keep out the very thing she wants the most – to be loved?
BTW, I think the very same issues apply to Mrs. Hairdog, Mrs. Chrome, Mrs. GGB, Mrs. Balto, and even Lou’s BB.
