I don’t see how you think I am screwing her over financially. How does it harm her if my parents give me a gift? It doesn’t. She wants half, just because. I didn't mean to imply you were screwing her over, just making the point that my H could have tried to screw me over if he wanted to be a jerk about it. But he didn't. However, about the "my property" issue, I think GEL is on to something with her post. Less then a year before H and I separated, he received a $20,000 inheritence from an uncle. We spent the entire amount on a larger car for me which I desperately needed. I would have been insulted if he said that was HIS money. But that's me. I’m sure she feels a lot of jealousy. She’s had a hard life, but it’s not my fault and its not my problem. She thinks she has some entitlement my property because of the years she spent as a housewife raising the kids. Well, she gets half of all the community property. I have no obligation or reason to give her half of my parent’s gift. That attitude sucks. You sound like someone who is already in the process of going through a bitter D, not someone who really wants to make the M better. You seem to have the cart before the horse. Much of our trouble in working toward intimacy does not come from the power struggles, the power struggles come from the fear of intimacy. As soon as we can both feel some security and level of intimacy, the power struggles will go away. Actually, they have for the most part gone away. That's a joke right? Sorry for the sarcasm but you are deluding yourself with this mentality. Don't you see how the power struggles and intimacy struggles are Interrelated? You can't just say the fear of intimacy is Causing the power struggles. And for sake of argument, if they are, how are you possibly expecting to get rid of the fear of intimacy if you still hold up such walls to each other? Money wise or not. Now we are coming to the heart of the matter and that is intimacy and vulnerability. I just don't see your contribution to this goal.
