My point was there is certain amounts of pain that I cannot handle. once they get crossed, I cannot control the rage. I dont pass out, I dont 'crawl inside' I dont go into shock, or at least not like most. I just want to destroy the cause of the pain. I took it out on the fence post and the outrigger of the crane, but the crane operator hid in his truck. I just observe myself while it happens and keep it directed at objects. I remember having that same observer feeling when berating x. ___________________________________________________
Are you some kind of distant relation? My Dad does this, my H does this too. Sometimes folks on the board get upset when such outbursts are described but I think a lot of men do this. As long as it is directed at something and not someone.
Weirdly, I get the observer feeling not while attacking someone verbally but while being attacked. I think we all have triggers that cause us to hit the detach button.
