I absolutely can see that we are growing into a new relationship...it's so much better than what it was. We of course have the raw materials that we started with but I can see where those raw materials have morphed as well...but honestly it has become a different R than we started with, and in my view that's a great thing. There was very little chance we'd have lasted if we stayed the way we were...we were still great friends, but it just didn't feel that there was any real depth to our R any longer. I know my own behaviors didn't help, but my H also really withdrew from me...there's no way a M can sustain itself the way we were going.
My H has told me repeatedly lately that I am so very much NOT what he was accustomed to in a woman...and he's seeing now that he likes what he has, that I'm who I tell him I am, and that I'm not changing...and he's now trusting that. He's also really starting to understand that "I" say exactly what I mean....so he's learning not to try to interperet what I say, looking for hidden meanings or traps.
