I think I just realized one day that even though I kept saying I wasn't trying to change my H....I really was. I just kept phrasing it in a manner that was more palatable to me.
Afterall...I WAS aware of our issues when we married, whether I chose to recognize or acknowledge them or not...I was aware. I'm finding right now though that we've dealt with other (I believe more important) issues in our M (trust, communication, resentment, history), it's so much easier to just drop the reins and accept him EXACTLY as he is....because now I really do know WHO he is.
Our communication is so much more honest now, we can say things we NEVER would have before...especially during disagreements. We discuss things...we both listen better...and we make the time now to spend time ALONE with each other (date night every Sat...even if it's in our living room).
I guess you could say intimacy is now present...even when the sex is not, for us I think that's key.
