wow your a professional faller allready. the skills get rusty though.
I currently have a '03 Aprilia Falco Its a crotch rocket and not a crusier, so I guess it qualifis as a 'ninja' type. PIC Has your H ever ridden before? I show all my friends who want to be new riders this web page It is EXTREMELY graphic, so if you have a weak stomach I dont recomend looking at it.
Quote: So if you are here to just see pictures or play the videos, you are missing the entire point. Take a moment and scroll back up, or click here, read the safety tips and download some of the free safety manuals. Just coming here to see the pictures does absolutely no good.
I cant abide the traffic in SoCal. My MC helps me keep my sanity.
Your MC looks like one my H showed me he wants (only he wants one in red), and yes...he yas years of experience riding. When he was younger he used to compete in motocross (years ago), I would trust him handling a MC competently and responsibly.
He LOVES speed!!! As I know many people do....he's also dying to buy a Baja boat. That's out of our league right now...but someday (perhaps if my invention actually sells the way I hope it will! Working on the patent for it now.). His love of speed is what has prompted me to buy a Nascar racing school package for him at Talladega Speedway for Christmas
I can imagine the traffic out there could drive any sane person nutz! I'm in the San Fran/Monterey area about twice a year and the traffice between San Jose & San Fran just amazes me.
Thanks for the site though, he'll probably be interested in looking at it.
since you are into martial arts...what would be your suggestion for me? I'm interested in something that will improve my flexibility...keep in mind, I'm completely new to any form of martial arts as well.
Last week my H and I had a MC session, one I found fairly interesting. Approximately a week or so prior to our session I was feeling pretty bummed...but not quite sure why, the night before our session I figured it out. Things have improved for us tremendously...but I realized I was bummed because I was mourning a loss. What loss?
I was mourning the loss of the lover I would never have in this M. The man I had become conditioned to believe was supposed to exist as my husband. You know the guy...the sweep you off your feet and romance you til you drop guy. Was it that guy I was having a tough time letting go...or was it the belief that this is what my H was "supposed to be"? I came to realize that it was simply the belief. When I realized that though I also realized I had to go through a type of mourning to let that belief go completely....and that it was ok to do so. Once I came to this conclusion I felt so much better.
In our MC session I communicated this to my H and our MC...and said "I'm mourning the fact that I married someone who isn't interested in being a "lover"....he wants a wife, friend, and mother for his child....but he doesn't appear to want a lover, and also doesn't appear to want to be one." I also explained that I'm coming to terms with this but that it's not easy to completely let go of something like that.
BTW...I did also tell them both that as far as I'm concerned in so many ways (including intimacy & sex) we've come lightyears....but I'm still the one taking charge...but coming to terms with that.
I would have thought my words might have been a relief to my H...but he had a reaction I didn't quite see coming (not a radical one). He didn't seem to like the fact that I was letting go....and working on letting go of my "ideal". He told me several times "I'm really working on it"...and "I'm not there yet, but I will be"....even though I would respond by saying "but it's ok, I'm ok with us...we're doing so much better."
It's almost comical to me when I relive this in my mind....it's almost like me saying "but you don't have to do that now, it's ok" and he's saying "but now I really want to do this and I'm going to."
I said this months ago but I truly do believe that letting go of your perceptions of what should be and really working on accepting your partner for who they are is key to this process. It's really difficult sometimes...but it's interesting how it changes the dynamic.
He didn't seem to like the fact that I was letting go....and working on letting go of my "ideal". He told me several times "I'm really working on it"...and "I'm not there yet, but I will be"
Sounds like he’s still enmeshed in a major way. I think the bigger part of your relationship problems has been his lack of differentiation and need for validation from you, rather than the more visible sex drive issue…
Cobra...I could have told you that a long time ago LOL.
He's ALWAYS needed loads of validation from me, and I try to provide it. Only he can work through that enmeshment though. In some ways I can see him progressing on that too. He's beginning to slowly loosen that death grip he's had on his past.
I know now he has a sex drive, he even talks about the fact that we don't have sex as often as he'd like (when that one finally came out I stopped in my tracks and did a WTF!!!!....you could literall envision Roadrunner speeding by Wiley Coyote....and screeching to a halt LOL). My H has HUGE self esteem issues when it comes to one-on-one intimate R's. I'm thinking in the near future it's going to be time for him to start seeing our MC on his own....so she can concentrate on those issues she sees with him.
I think Mr. Gel had a hard time with your "acceptance" because he really does want to be your hero (my H has often expressed words to this effect). The problem is that you aren't worried about having a hero in most arenas of your life but....the one area where you still kinda hang on to an idealized, heroized dream is the one area that he has the hardest time with. Then he thinks to himself - What? She doesn't want a hero anymore but...I am it, I am he, I will figure it out cause I don't want to let go of wanting to fulfill that for her.
I'm sure you are correct with that, but I have to let that go for myself. I needed to verbalize that too...because he'd noticed I wasn't my normal self...it's part of that honesty.
It does seem to have set a fire under him though, so whatever happens (or not) happens. I'm ok with it.
Not saying you shouldn't work on your acceptance. It is because of your acceptance that H has finally accepted that HE has a dilemma - if you can let this go but he doesn't want you to it is HE who has to take action. I hope he does. My wish for you is that he takes the reins and decides once and for all to make this a sexual partnership. In that scenario - you could be his Queen but he would also be your King. KWIM?
In essence you and I are saying the same thing. I merely found it interesting that my verbalizing that I was letting go of that "ideal" seems to have lit a fire (or at least a spark) under my H.
I still do (as you said) have to work on letting go, for me...it's something that has to be done in order to accept my H for who he is right now...not for who he might become.
It's been my experience that (for me) my most useful tool in our M has been truly accepting my H for the man that he is...great qualities, flaws, foibles and all. It gives him the freedom to not feel judged. I'm not judging him for not being what I thought my "ideal" was...I'm accepting him just as is....in turn that gives him freedom to try different things as well...which he wouldn't have done if he felt I was trying to fit him into a mold.
I was only going 20 MPH. 
I'm not judging him for not being what I thought my "ideal" was...I'm accepting him just as is....in turn that gives him freedom to try different things as well...which he wouldn't have done if he felt I was trying to fit him into a mold.